The Shocking Implications of US Policy

If you're reading this, you're probably an Indian. You're also almost definitely computer literate (unless someone prints out my posts for the less digitally blessed. I believes this actually happens to other, better blogs). If so, read on. This is super-duper seriul. This is far worse than Global Laming. This is worse than ManBearPig. This is some bad shit right here.

Okay, so most of you probably agree that the United States government does some pretty stupid shit sometimes. They go to war for silly reasons. They put people in jail for taking pain medication. They enact boneheaded copyright law. They enrich little fishing villages in Nicaragua. The list goes on.

But two particular boneheaded policies, put together, are potentially the biggest threat to the Indian nation since a chappie named Robert Clive joined this little trading company in order to score discount opium. Consider the facts:

1. The US government has an absolutely zero-tolerance policy regarding child porn. Which is absolutely fine, you say. Kiddie Porn is terrible. And I agree. It is terrible. But the US government is especially anal about this. Any pictures or video, whether or not meant for distribution, involving anyone even a minute under eighteen years old, will get you a mandatory minimum sentence of a couple of decades.
2. The US government also claims jurisdiction over crimes committed in foreign nations, by foreign nationals, and in some cases, against foreign nationals (that is to say, if the word "against" can be used meaningfully while talking about victim less crime). Witness Guantanamo Bay. Witness the arrest of David Carruthers. Witness the case of Marc Emery.

In isolation, both these positions are stupid, but not exactly world-changing. Put together, however, a far more sinister implication emerges. That implication is this:

Every single person who has seen the DPS RK Puram MMS is in violation of US Federal Law. What's more, the US Justice department has the precedent, and indeed the obligation to arrest anyone who has shared, saved, or even just seen the clip. If the US Government has its way, every computer-literate Indian adult will be incarcerated in a Federal gaol.

Be afraid, India. Be very afraid.

(With inputs from KR Aadishtan and Sarika Chuni.)